Steamroom
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

One Night (about 1,000 words)

+3
Dreamygrril
Gwyndolin
Whisper
7 posters

Go down

One Night (about 1,000 words) Empty One Night (about 1,000 words)

Post  Whisper Sat 17 Apr 2010, 12:28 am

All Hallow’s Night was when the ghosts and ghouls came out to play. It was also when all the freaks of the French Quarter crowded the cemeteries like they were some new and exciting brand of amusement park. They were howling and yelling out there, drunken songs floating on the night breeze, scented with stale beer.

So frustrating! They completely ruined the mood. Here she was, with her drop-dead-sexy (literally) hunk all over her, and Jessica couldn’t even enjoy him. If she wasn’t all tangled up in his limbs, she’d be out there busting caps and taking names. Get your own ghosts, assholes!

This one was all hers. And just for tonight, all flesh and blood, steaming bod and ancient eyes, so limber she never would have thought that just yesterday, he was nothing more than a pile of dust and old bones. Magic had its perks. And, oh, my, what perks they were!

Jack’s hand slid over her leg. She shivered.

Then one of those drunks out there turned on a boom box that blasted Marilyn Manson across five counties. Yeah, real original.

Jack grunted. He was sweating now – he loved this and, gods help her, so did she. She was pinned beneath him, muscles straining as she pushed up to touch more, feel more. His long blond hair slid over her stomach, tickling. She wanted to grab a fistful of it and drag him to her lips.

Their bodies moved constantly, small adjustments, seeking to fit together just right. Just so. They were both breathing hard. Just like she liked it. Jack turned his face and it grazed her breast. She moaned in frustrated bliss. What was taking him so long.

“I can’t get it,” he said, his voice hoarse.

“What do you mean? You’re right there, just do it.”

“I can’t. Spread your legs more.”

Someone outside the tomb threw a bottle at the wall. It shattered, no doubt covering it with beer that she’d be able to smell for days. Jessica gritted her teeth, tried to ignore it. “This is as far as they go.”

He growled and she smiled in delight, turning her head so he wouldn’t see.

He saw anyway. He scowled. “Lift your ass up more.”

She could do that. Jessica shifted her weight so she could tilt her pelvis up higher. She moved left and right a few times, just to show him what he was missing. The pained look on his face was priceless.

Jack moved again, muscles rippling in his arms. “Okay,” he managed to bite out. “I’m in.”

Ah, finally. She reached, strained, feeling with her fingers without turning her head to see. “Tell me,” she breathed against his ear. Felt him shudder and knew it was almost over.

Jack whispered to her, his hot breath stirring her hair. Her head fell back in delight and her eyes half closed when his lips grazed along the side of her neck. Above her, the domed ceiling loomed like a cradle. Open arms to catch her, if only she could get that far. She knew she wouldn’t. There was only so much life they could stuff into one night. From sundown to sunup. That was how long they had. And there weren’t nearly enough hours in between.

“Christ,” Jack said and groaned. His harsh breaths against her collar bone felt like heaven. She never wanted to leave. But her limbs were shaking already. She knew she wouldn’t last long.

She moved her leg, caressing his with the inside of her calf. Her toes lightly touched over his ankle, gliding up, then down. Jack glared at her. “You’re torturing me on purpose.”

Jessica smiled. He knew her so well.

Jack grinned back. “Don’t stop.”

She laughed, lost her balance, tumbled and took him with her.

Jack was laughing too, now, though his voice was muffled against her stomach. It took them a moment to disengage from the sweaty tangle of limbs and they took every opportunity to caress and touch whatever they could reach along the way. By the time they were free of each other, Jack’s eyes blazed again and Jessica was out of breath.

Those idiots out there didn’t even exist anymore. Who cared? She was here, and he was alive, and that was all that mattered.

But already, the sky was lightening. Jack’s body shimmered gold, then slowly became transparent. He could feel it, she knew by the look on his face.

Jessica reached out to touch his face. She only got the sensation of cool mist against her hand. But he still felt it. So she leaned in and kissed his lips, then smiled against them. “Same time next year?”

“Absolutely,” he said, his voice echoing in the tomb.

Jessica rose on unsteady legs and rearranged her clothes. Her shoes were on top of the crypt; there wasn’t much in the way of space here, they’d had to improvise. Jack reached out to help her with her jacket before he realized he couldn’t pick it up anymore. His frustration made her laugh. He just looked so yummy when he was angry.

The floor length mirror she’d managed to drag in here was already covered with dust and dirt, but clean enough to see herself in. Not too shabby. Given the rough tumble she’d just had, her costume looked just as great as when she’d put it on last night. And her hair looked much better mussed.

“Guess this is good bye, then,” she said.

Jack’s eyes seared her when he nodded. Just once. A royal incline of his leonine head. “For now.”

Jessica rubbed her arms, pretending she’d shivered because of the cold.

She rolled up the Twister pad, but left the wheel with its spinning hand as a pleasant reminder. Blowing him a kiss at the door, she strolled out into the sunrise, carefully closing the tomb behind her.
Whisper
Whisper

Posts : 25
Join date : 2010-04-16

Back to top Go down

One Night (about 1,000 words) Empty Re: One Night (about 1,000 words)

Post  Gwyndolin Sat 17 Apr 2010, 9:49 am

Wow! You are a fantastic writer!

This was such a clever piece, I can sense your wit from the very beginning.

What's interesting to me, is that this is a short story that is a single scene, and it's all a sex scene, but there's nothing really very dirty in it. I love that you were able to write such a hot scene without resorting to smut. It's impressive.

I couldn't find a single thing I would have done differently. Well done!

Gwyndolin

Posts : 34
Join date : 2010-04-16
Age : 46

Back to top Go down

One Night (about 1,000 words) Empty Re: One Night (about 1,000 words)

Post  Dreamygrril Sat 17 Apr 2010, 12:11 pm

Funny with a nice twist.

Around Holloween we should see if there are any "hot ghost" competitions for ya.


My only issue...


that it was a twist Smile lol
Dreamygrril
Dreamygrril
Admin

Posts : 41
Join date : 2010-04-16
Age : 40
Location : Fort Polk

http://steamroom.gratuitoforum.com

Back to top Go down

One Night (about 1,000 words) Empty Re: One Night (about 1,000 words)

Post  aalmcmullen Sat 17 Apr 2010, 9:56 pm

Whisper wrote:All Hallow’s Night was when the ghosts and ghouls came out to play.


Ha ha ha. After reading it, I think that is my favorite line since you summed up what was going to happen in the first sentence without giving a thing away. Intriguing story. Is there a reason for the twister game and the mirror?
aalmcmullen
aalmcmullen

Posts : 22
Join date : 2010-04-16

Back to top Go down

One Night (about 1,000 words) Empty Re: One Night (about 1,000 words)

Post  Whisper Sun 18 Apr 2010, 12:40 am

aalmcmullen wrote:

Ha ha ha. After reading it, I think that is my favorite line since you summed up what was going to happen in the first sentence without giving a thing away. Intriguing story. Is there a reason for the twister game and the mirror?

LMAO that's hilarious. That was completely unintentional. I didn't even realize it until you pointed it out. Rolling Eyes

reason for twister game: making it almost naughty without going overboard.

reason for mirror: *shrug* none, really.
Whisper
Whisper

Posts : 25
Join date : 2010-04-16

Back to top Go down

One Night (about 1,000 words) Empty Re: One Night (about 1,000 words)

Post  SnowCamellia Thu 06 May 2010, 9:51 am

*claps hands laughing* I loved that, I really loved that! That first line right away piqued my interest and then as I continued to read it drew me in by a fish hook, not wanting to let go! There was humor, a lot of steam (grin, grin) and the ending totally amazing. I never saw it coming. It was a twist. ^_^

No error in grammar or punctuation caught my eye; the writing style very beautiful. All in all a well done job!
SnowCamellia
SnowCamellia

Posts : 5
Join date : 2010-05-05
Age : 34
Location : Florida

Back to top Go down

One Night (about 1,000 words) Empty Re: One Night (about 1,000 words)

Post  thisangel Tue 11 May 2010, 11:23 pm

Nice one! Well done, and fair play, as we say on this side of the pond!

I think I was a tad disappointed as well, that they were only playing twister...or were they...? Wink
thisangel
thisangel

Posts : 23
Join date : 2010-04-29
Location : Ireland

Back to top Go down

One Night (about 1,000 words) Empty Re: One Night (about 1,000 words)

Post  Liberty Sun 16 May 2010, 2:39 pm

Very intriguing story. What a great way to start it out.
I hope you share more. I honestly couldn’t find anything about it that I would personally change. Smile
Liberty
Liberty

Posts : 24
Join date : 2010-04-20
Age : 41
Location : Muldrow, OK (Texan born and raised)

http://alexisvgirlchatter.blogspot.com/

Back to top Go down

One Night (about 1,000 words) Empty Re: One Night (about 1,000 words)

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum