Prom Night - Teen Mom Style

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Prom Night - Teen Mom Style

Post  Gwyndolin on Tue 20 Apr 2010, 7:14 pm

Deleted because I think some things are best to keep off the internet, haha. After I thought about it, I decided if my book ever gets published, I'd rather not be linked to this story too. Especially because it was true. Embarassed


Last edited by Gwyndolin on Sun 09 May 2010, 12:05 pm; edited 2 times in total

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Re: Prom Night - Teen Mom Style

Post  aalmcmullen on Tue 20 Apr 2010, 11:11 pm

What a great story! I'm so glad it was true. It has a nice, relaxed tone that sort of gilds the memory when you read it. Most teen mom stuff you read nowadays sounds stressed and frazzled and angry. I laughed out loud when Jack did laps around the vehicles, chasing Mike down. It helped bring the story down to its ending. Love it. There are some comma placement probs in the first paragraph, but don't change a word!
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Re: Prom Night - Teen Mom Style

Post  Gwyndolin on Tue 20 Apr 2010, 11:42 pm

Thanks for the super nice words! That was a fun piece to write. I hadn't thought about that night for a really long time.

The laps around the car were my favorite part to remember, lol. We actually talked about that for years afterwards. Mike was screaming at Jack not to beat him up, haha. Like a little girl.

I went in and took out some commas from the first paragraph. I have a major tendency to overuse them. Hopefully it reads better now. Thanks for the reminder, I need it often.

That was the first thing I've ever written like that. It was a fun excersize, and I look forward to the next one! Very Happy

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Re: Prom Night - Teen Mom Style

Post  Whisper on Wed 21 Apr 2010, 7:30 pm

It's a nice story Smile more of a Cinderella deal. I gotta ask, though. Where was the thing that went wrong? Sounds like everything went almost too right that night hehe
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Re: Prom Night - Teen Mom Style

Post  Gwyndolin on Wed 21 Apr 2010, 8:08 pm

Lol, nothing went like a normal prom night would... We danced like 2 dances and left, the boys fought, and we found ourselves at Denny's in formal attire.

Not quite like being eaten by a dragon, haha, but definitely not according to plan.

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Re: Prom Night - Teen Mom Style

Post  Dreamygrril on Fri 23 Apr 2010, 11:02 pm

HAHA! I love these every one gets better than the last!

Awesome job!
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